You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He passed out mid-signature
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
