Nicole vs. Life
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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