No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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