My cat gives me a boner
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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