my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
