I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
