i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
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