I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I wish there were birth control emojis
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
