return my video game
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
