Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
