i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
