The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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