the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
