Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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