Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
