Moan for me like Helen Keller
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
