I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
