no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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