I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
