She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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