I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
