Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
