I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
organizing the empties. That sober.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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