He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
