I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
