weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize