You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
