So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
