Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
