PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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