just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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