Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
