I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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