in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
it glows. i had to have it.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
