My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
