Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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