whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
