yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
