Will you blow on my dice?
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
