You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize