So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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