bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
