I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
