I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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