My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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