I just made out with a guy for $7.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
