help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
