he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
