just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
