i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
