I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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