dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
