girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
