i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
