I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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