Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I need to align my fucking chakras
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
