there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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