So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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