I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Did I show you my penis last night?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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