but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
