while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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