i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
