What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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